I’m not sure what I was expecting from a planned overnight in downtown Laredo, Texas, at the end of my drive down the “Road To Nowhere” on U.S. 83, but it wasn’t what I got, if that makes sense. Maybe it was the time of year. Maybe it’s because I’m not the night owl I used to be. But the area seemed quiet, and more than a little worn in places. Still, I felt like I made the best possible decision for where I stayed – at the historic La Posada Hotel.
Of all the times I’ve visited New Orleans, I had never had the opportunity to ring in the New Year in the Big Easy. That changed in 2026. And it convinced me that the more things change with time, and the more challenges my favorite city faces, the more it retains its singular charm and beauty.
I can think of no city in the United States that embraces vampire legends quite like New Orleans. Being considered one of the most haunted cities in America helps, as do the above-ground cemeteries throughout the city and the vampire-themed tours that are easily found in the French Quarter. Then there are places like the New Orleans Vampire Café, which take the theme to a whole other level.
When I drove the section of U.S. 83 (aka “The Road to Nowhere”) that slices through the Texas Panhandle, then Central and South Texas down to Laredo, I couldn’t help but think that, in spite of its reputation as a “lonely” highway, it really does have a lot to offer along the drive, and it connects a lot of people.
New Orleans has long been considered one of the great cities in the United States for food lovers. But if you think that reputation is built solely on its roots in Creole and Cajun cooking, you just haven’t spent enough time eating in the Big Easy. Like the city itself, New Orleans is a melting pot of the world’s cuisines … you’ll find outstanding restaurants serving everything from Italian to Middle Eastern, Southeast Asian and African dishes, to name a few.
With a nickname like “The Road To Nowhere,” it’s fair to expect the drive on U.S. 83 from Canada to Mexico to be quite boring. And I can attest that, at times, it is exactly that.
But the drive also delivers its share of pleasant surprises. And one of the stops along my drive that I felt most rewarded by was my overnight stay in Shamrock, Texas.
When Midwesterners are looking for a romantic weekend getaway, Galena, Ill., often makes the short list of ideas. Wedged in the northwestern tip of Illinois, Galena offers a superb blend of history (the town is full of sites related to its most famous resident, Ulysses S. Grant), shopping, outdoor activities and small-town charm. With the surrounding area being unusually scenic and hilly for Illinois, Galena tends to be more popular in the fall and winter months (the only ski resort I know of in the state is nearby), but it truly is a year-round destination.
It should be no surprise, then, that Punky and I try to make a trip to Galena every year at a minimum. And whenever we go, we rarely miss an opportunity to dine at one of our favorite restaurants in the downtown area. Its menu and décor might make you think of a modern Tuscan-style trattoria, but its namesake dish is a classic southern appetizer – Fried Green Tomatoes.
I started my third day driving on “The Road to Nowhere” with fairly low expectations for what I’d find south of North Platte, Neb.
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| Poolside at the Hilton Las Palmeras Vacation Resort, Orlando, Fla. |
It can happen to anyone on vacation. No matter your level of travel experience, you’ve let your guard down, and now you’re cornered by someone I like to call the “pitch person.”
He or she may look like they’re acting in some official capacity for a tourism bureau or visitor’s center or maybe the place you’re staying, but they’re real job is to sell you something … and it’s very pricy. It may start innocently with a question like: “Are you enjoying your stay here?” “Have you seen this attraction or that site yet?” “Would you like to come back?”
Then the pitch person hits you with the offer. And it seems like it’s worth it at the time. Maybe you’re offered free tickets to an attraction, or free dinner vouchers, or free points added to your hotel chain’s rewards program. Perhaps it’s even a combination of freebies. All you have to do is one thing – sit through a timeshare presentation.
After navigating a lengthy section of "deconstructed" highway, followed by a quick drive through the Rosebud Tribe reservation (including a rather impressive and seemingly out of place casino on the South Dakota-Nebraska state line), it was mid-afternoon on one of my longest days of driving down the “Road To Nowhere.” And I still had one of the loneliest stretches of U.S. 83 ahead of me before day’s end – the sandhills of west-central Nebraska.
Before that, however, I wisely made a rest stop at the first sign of civilization just nine miles past the South Dakota border. And it turned to be a very worthwhile stop in lovely Valentine, Neb.
The first leg of my road trip down U.S. Highway 83 (aka
“The Road To Nowhere”) through the heart of the country yielded some unexpected
fun in North Dakota, such as Fort Mandan and the Lawrence Welk Birthplace. What would the second leg through South
Dakota bring?
The answer: Outside of Pierre, not much, unless you count an unanticipated off-road adventure.
Or would you do what this commoner did, find the nearest
spot to turn around and check it out anyway?
Of course, you would!
When it comes to road trips, I’ve lived most of my life by the motto that getting there was half the fun. In other words, the travel from Point A to Point B can be just as memorable as the destination. This is especially true when you’re perfectly fine without having a set destination at all.
That was my thought process when I set out to choose a route for my first solo road trip in many years. I wanted to go where few others would think to travel. I also wanted to have a true sense of solitude on the highway, where I could be alone with my thoughts for hours at a time. So, after a combination of modern-day Google searching and old-school researching good ol’ Rand McNally, I decided to conquer what has been coined by fellow travelers as the “Road To Nowhere” … or at least most of it.
Officially designated as U.S. Highway 83, the Road To Nowhere stretches from the Canadian border just north of Westhope, N.D, to its southern terminus at the Mexican border crossing in Brownsville, Texas. Yes, there are zigs and zags along the way, but until the route takes an abrupt turn along the Rio Grande at Laredo, it’s a fairly consistent north-south trajectory.
How it became known as the Road To Nowhere is pretty apparent if you look at the route long enough. The vast majority of the highway runs through some of the most sparsely populated parts of the country – the heart of the Great Plains and the Texas panhandle. How few people live there? Consider this: The largest city between my starting point at Minot, N.D. and my end point at Laredo, Texas is Abilene, Texas, with roughly 125,000 people. The distance on U.S. 83 between Minot and Abilene is about 1,240 miles. In between, there are just five cities with a population greater than 10,000 – Bismarck, N.D. (74,000), Pierre, S.D. (14,000), North Platte, Neb. (24,000), Garden City, Kan, (28,000), and Liberal, Kan. (19,000).
I chose my jumping on and jumping off points based on the amount of time I had to not just driver the route, but get there and back.
To be a well-traveled commoner, one’s travel research beforehand may come from many different places. For instance, when I began researching my first solo road trip in many years to drive the length of U.S. 83 (aka “The Road To Nowhere”) from the Great Plains to the Mexican border, I knew I might have to use some unconventional resources to find a few good pitstops on my way to my jumping off point in Minot, N.D.
Fortunately, I had received a book called “Bucket List Bars” as a gift – a great guide to historic dive bars across the United States. Within that book, one pub in particular in North St. Paul, Minn., spoke to me due to its historical connections to Hamm’s beer. So, I knew I couldn’t pass through the Minneapolis-St. Paul area without stopping at Neumann’s Bar.
Serving since 1887 (yes, even during Prohibition when the “official” drink was “near beer” and the speakeasy upstairs provided other options), Neumann’s was founded for the main purpose of supporting the nearby Hamm’s Brewery. It was common practice in the 19th Century for breweries to support or even operate their own saloons to sell their own products. Good way to cut your distribution costs, no doubt.
Today, Neumann’s Bar claims to be Minnesota’s oldest continuously operating bar, and I’m extremely happy to report from first-hand experience that their support of Hamm’s beer remains very strong.
"I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s. His hair was perfect.” – Warren Zevon, “Werewolves of London” (1978)
Fast forward to Dec. 31, 2022: After nearly 60 years in business, the Trader Vic’s located in the London Hilton on Park Lane, the one presumably and famously referenced in the Warren Zevon song, closes for good. Meanwhile, in the United States, only three Trader Vic’s locations remain, and one of those is merely an airport kiosk in San Jose, Calif.
It can easily be argued that the Trader Vic’s brand is struggling to say the least. And if my experience at the Trader Vic’s I visited in Atlanta a couple years back is any indication, I think I know why.
Our purpose for staying in Atlanta on this trip was merely to serve as a layover on what amounted to a two-day drive to Orlando, Fla. Frankly, neither Punky or I had much interest in staying in the heart of Atlanta, but something in particular made us decide to book a night at the Hilton downtown. To our surprise, it had a Trader Vic’s. Another classic chain to cross off our bucket list, we thought.
You can only imagine how quickly the disappointment took over once we actually got there. For starters, the location of the restaurant did it no favors. For some reason, this Trader Vic’s was put on the bottom level of the hotel, and access from the main lobby was limited to only or two of about six to eight elevators. It was a time-consuming endeavor just to reach the place. Granted, this is more of a design flaw of the hotel, but it doesn’t start the Trader Vic’s experience in Atlanta off on a very positive note.
If there’s one street outside of the French Quarter that serves as the cultural artery of New Orleans, it may be St. Charles Avenue. Stretching from the Central Business District through the Garden District, past the universities of Tulane and Loyola and ending past Audubon Park at the intersection with Carrolton Avenue, St. Charles Avenue has it all, including plentiful businesses and residences of all shapes, sizes and condition. And, everything’s easily accessible on the famous St. Charles streetcar line.
It’s no wonder, then, that despite countless trips to New Orleans, I continue to discover new and amazing places on St. Charles Avenue almost every time I visit. One of my most recent finds: the Superior Seafood and Oyster Bar.
Well, as pictured at the top, the entrance still resembles a modern-day saloon on the outside, or at least a large shed decorated to look like a saloon.
For the second stop on the 2023 edition of our Central Illinois Small Town Bar Tour, tour guide Danielle and Greg guided us along the county highways of western Christian County, south from Edinburg and directly in to the heart of beautiful Bulpitt, Illinois. At the main intersection with Illinois Route 104, we found our destination – County 5 Bar & Grill.
If there’s anything that’s sure to break the monotony of winter in Central Illinois, I’d place my bets on a small-town bar tour. There’s something about the tenacity of the taverns, dive bars and road houses found in and around these communities, villages and wide spots on the road that you have to appreciate. They’re often the last of the original businesses keeping the town functioning and the town folk together. Or, they may be revamped versions of longtime favorites, building on their legacy to keep locals coming and bring in new business. Either way, when you visit one, you’re only a stranger for the first round.
Punky and I love taking these daylong road trips, especially in February when the calendar gives us a couple of extra days off resulting in three-day weekends when we can beat the winter blues. And that’s exactly what inspired what I’m calling the “Central Illinois Small Town Bar Tour – 2023 Edition.” Together with our friends and tour guides Danielle and Greg (Danielle has vast knowledge of the backroads we were using, and Greg is allegedly part bloodhound), we mapped out a loose plan of attack and headed east out of Springfield on Ill. Route 29 toward our first destination – the recently opened Whiskey Ridge Saloon in Breckenridge.
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Picture yourself cruising through the rolling hills and farmland of southern North Dakota early on a late summer morning. The sun is stil...
