Sep 18, 2013

Things discussed at the Brewhaus (and beyond), Vol. 17

Yes, just when you thought these postings had run their course, a recent flurry of bar discussions in and around regular barroom haunts has proven otherwise. 

I wish I could come up with some clever tie-in for the title, but the only songs I can think of are “Seventeen” by Winger and “Sexy and Seventeen” by Stray Cats.  I really don’t feel like giving a shout-out to a mediocre-at-best 1980s hair band, and – let’s face it – many of the topics on these lists aren't all that sexy.  But many are R-rated, and 17 is the age of admittance at the movies, so let’s go with that.     

So, here are 17 topics for the 17th edition of “Things discussed at the Brewhaus”:

  1. Turning 50; why it’s a better alternative than not turning 50 – ever.  
  2. Video gaming and the demise of good shuffleboard tables in Illinois. 
  3. Is five year old acid still worth taking? 
  4. The best burgoos in Central Illinois and ways to pick up women at them.
  5. Pam cooking spray as a face moisturizer?  Ummm … ok.
  6. In restaurant measurements, do two cups of soup equal one bowl?
  7. Bringing back the three-martini lunch as part of the nation’s economic stimulus plan.
  8. Songs about whiskey and green beans.
  9. Carnival acts you really don’t want to see (i.e., elephantiasis of the pussy).
  10. Hedy Lamarr or Merle Oberon? 
  11. The real message of “The Great Gatsby” and why women really shouldn't aspire to be Daisy Buchanan. 
  12. The amazing absorbency of the Brewhaus carpet. 
  13. Politicians with approval ratings under 20 percent – at some point, you have to be actively trying to be disliked.
  14. Why sound travels better and farther when the humidity is lower.
  15. Absinthe substitutes when you’re in a pinch.
  16. Explaining to hipsters why Pabst Blue Ribbon is not a craft beer.
  17. Flugelhorns, cornets, trumpets and French horns – why we need more of them in live rock music performances.     

Honestly, given the range of topics, I’m amazed it took this long for another volume. 

Next time, I’ll resume blogging about the Colorado road trip with my fake wife, Christine, and my good friend, Ken.  Please keep watching.  It’s not that often you get to read about yurts or UFO watchtowers.  


Anonymous said...

Just say NO to flugelhorns!!!

John Watts said...

Honest, I heard some great flugelhorn accompaniment this weekend!

A commoner dines at Baumgartner’s Cheese Store and Tavern, Monroe, Wis.

I wasn’t sure a place existed that could be the perfect representation of Wisconsin life, but then I traveled through Monroe, Wis., one week...